I think that I might be having a bit of a crisis. Maybe crisis isn't the right word, but it is as good as its going to get at this point. It was brought on by the realization that the only way I could pass A&P lab now is if a virus took out the entire network at school and every grade was erased. But then of course there are the backup servers that would need to be addressed and I am sure there are always hardcopies for that kind of stuff as well. With that and taking incomplete in all of my dance classes I think that this semester would have been more productive if I did not take any classes at all. Even when I was dancing I did not fell as if I was getting anything out of it. It was like I was just going through the motions because I had to and not because I wanted to. It's not that I was not enjoying moving but by being forced to take A&P It felt like I was being forced to take my other classes as well. So I am just questioning how much dance I want to take next fall; which is also influenced by what the hell has to be done to my ankle and how long it's going to take to do it. At this point I do not know if I want to keep dance as a major at all. I think that subconsciously I knew that there would be a time when I would have to decide just how much I want to be involved in the dance world, but I always thought/hoped that I would have at least made it through academia and established myself into the field (in whatever way) before I would have to make a decision.
Maybe that this is just the insomnia kicking in and I'm just jumping ahead of of myself, and I pray that I am. But like everything else there are always choices in a decision and the path the they lead to is only apparent at the end.
EDIT: The time stamp at the end says its 12 A.M so there you go.